I have a secret I’ve kept from you for a month. I think it’s time I finally let the truth find its way to the surface. It’s hard for me to say this. I’m not sure how you will take this news. You see, I wasn’t intentionally lying to you. It was more like my pride was in the way, so I was lying to myself.
So with a deep breath and an exhale, here it goes:
I don’t like the Eggnog Ice Cream that’s been in your freezer for a month.
I know. I know you bought it for me. I know I begged for it with a winsome smile that said, “Eggnog ice cream is the best thing next to chocolate!” I know I pleaded for this ice cream with you saying the entire time, “Nog! What is nog? It is sounds so gross! That ice cream will be probably be terrible.”
Before you tell me, “I told you so!” just listen…You see, I’ve always loved Eggnog in the holiday season. One might reason that if eggnog is good, then eggnog ice cream would be good. But I think it’s the equivalent of eating a real banana and liking it, and then eating a piece of banana-flavored candy and hating it. It’s just not the same: Eggnog versus Eggnog ice cream.
The truth is, that Eggnog ice cream was really just making a statement. Every bite I took and choked down with a grin and an “Mmmm,” it was just because I was trying to prove to you, you Nog-hater, that Eggnog is wonderful in its every form.
Well, I can’t keep up this front any longer.
I know that the ramifications of this confession may mean that you’ll despise Eggnog forever, even in its purest and most heavenly liquid form, and that’s fine. It is the consequence I’m going to have to accept, because I can’t keep pretending that Eggnog Ice Cream tastes just as good. It simply doesn’t, and I cannot bear one more bite.
So there. There is my heart’s deepest confession: I don’t like the Eggnog Ice Cream in your freezer. It was two dollars and forty nine of your cents wasted.