That Wasn’t on My Bucket List

Well, if chasing a half-naked elderly woman down in an ER to convince her to stay so she could be treated and not die (with the support of a big male nurse and a security guard) was ever on my bucket list, I could have crossed that off my list today. Unfortunately, I never aspired to such a task, and so, alas, nothing gets checked off.

OR, if blocking a door with a gurney to keep a patient in, shutting the main hospital doors as a deterrent, and discussing chemical and physical restraints for an 80 pound woman only to discover that vanilla ice cream was a perfectly useful tranquilizer was something I wanted to witness, that too, could have been a task I completed today, making my wildest dreams come true. Alas, that was not on my list either….

ORRRR, if having deranged man in handcuffs brought into the ER by the police (with smashed leaf particles on his back, indicating he’d previously been pinned to the ground outside during some sort of tussle), escape from the loose, one-handed grasp of the policeman, bend over at the waist, and attempt to charge me at the nurse’s station (while I was reporting that my patient was trying to escape the ER while she was half-naked, might I add) and…headbutt me…? (not sure what he had planned once he finally reached me), I could have crossed that off my bucket list too today!

Luckily, “side-step whip” without the “whip” part came in handy….thank you, kickboxing black belt skill sets and my very ninja boyfriend/martial arts teacher…..Or, maybe, it was my Spanish bull-fighting training from my former life…


These are things, however, that I never ever put on my bucket list, hoping to achieve, yet, here I am, having achieved them. Now….where is my award for today?

You know, the…”You Survived Work Today” award?

Copyright 2013



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